


Juno Is Always Fine

by LiterallyThePresident



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Identity Issues, Juno Is Ben Theory, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 12:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyThePresident/pseuds/LiterallyThePresident
Summary: “Juno would have deserved you.” Juno murmured, something raw and aching in his voice





	Juno Is Always Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [pollux, castor, abel, cain,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12610980) by [availedobscurity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/availedobscurity/pseuds/availedobscurity). 



> I somewhat like the trope of a twin taking the other’s identity after they die. And i the show Sarah saying “I thought he was you” and Juno’s line “We have the same damned smile” made me think they were identical twins

“I’m Juno. _I’m_ Juno! I’m Juno Steel!” Juno’s cries made Peter drop his toothbrush and bolt into the bedroom, knife brandished and eyes darting around in search of a threat. But there was none. Just Juno Steel, bolting awake after a terrible dream. By the time Peter had put his knife away, Juno had buried his face into his knees, not even noticing Peter’s presence.

“M-My name is Juno Steel. I’m a private eye.” he seemed to take comfort in the words, drawing them around him like a cloak as he laced his finger behind his head, “My name is Juno Steel, I’m a private eye. My name is Juno Steel...”

“Juno?” Peter asked softly, making Juno jump. He turned to look at him, blue eye wide like he’d forgotten he was there. His entire posture spoke of a man ready to bolt.

“Nureyev.” he hurriedly tried to wipe all traces of the nightmare from his face, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s perfectly fine, Juno.” he smiled reassuringly, “I was already awake. Just brushing my teeth. It’s late, you should go back to sleep.” Juno looked reluctant, so he added, “Would you like to talk about it?”

“I... I’m fine.” Juno said, though he clearly wasn’t. Peter frowned and slid into the bed beside him, touching his knee lightly.

“You don’t look fine.” he said honestly, “Juno, you know you can always talk to me.”

“I’m _fine_.” he grit out, refusing to look at him. Peter frowned.

“Juno.” he sighed, having long stopped fearing pushing would drive Juno away, “Please be honest with me. I love you, and I want to help.”

“I am fine! I’m great, I’m fantastic, raring to go. I’m. Fine.”

“Why must you always-“ he started fondly, but Juno cut him off.

“Because I’m Juno and Juno is always fine!” Peter blinked at the force behind his words. Juno seemed to realize he’d been harsh, and looked suitably chastised, “Sorry. Just... forget it. Please?”

“Juno, what did you mean by that?” he asked curiously, worry tugging at him.

“ _Please_.”

“Juno, please, let me help.” he pleaded, scooting closer. Juno looked... Well, haunted.

“I... I can’t. I can’t.” Juno buried his face in his hands, “I can’t.”

“Juno, what is it?” Peter asked, laying his hands gently on his shoulders, “You’re scaring me, my dear. Please, tell me what I can do to help you.”

“I have secrets too, Nureyev. Just like you.” he murmured, shoulders tense. Peter blinked, a cold lump of fear settling in his throat. What sort of secrets could make his Juno act this way? What sort of secrets could he have kept hidden from Peter for so long?

“You can tell me.” he said gently, “You can tell me anything. I promise you, it won’t change how I feel about you.”

“It will.” Juno whispered, “And I don’t know if I could handle that.” Peter gently took his head in his hands, pressing their foreheads together and looking him in the eye.

“Juno Steel, I love you more than anything in the world.” he said firmly, “And I-“ but Juno had begun to cry, bringing Peter up short. Juno... was crying. And the sight of it broke Peter’s heart in ways he hadn’t expected.

“I’m not Juno.” Juno whispered, making Peter’s heart stop cold for a hot second.

“What?” he whispered, immediately scanning for signs of... well, he wasn’t sure. Martian fuckery? A robot replacement? But the only man before him was Juno.

“I’m not Juno.” he said again, “Juno died.”

“What are you talking about, Juno?” he asked gently, “What do you mean?”

“I’m not Juno.” he shook his head, and Peter’s heart clenched when he saw he was _shaking_ , like just saying the words hurt, “Juno is dead. He died, I...”

“Juno you’re scaring me.” he murmured, mind racing, “Please clarify for me, my dear.”

“I...”

“Is this about the martian tomb?” he asked softly, “An identity crisis? I understand that, I do. Is it a result of your mother’s abu-“

“Yes.” he buried his face in Peter’s shoulder, “M-She killed him. Sarah killed Juno.”

“And yet here he kneels before me.” Peter gave a reassuring smile, despite Juno being unable to see it, “And here I am, loving him.”

“Juno would have deserved you.” he murmured, something raw and aching in his voice. Peter blinked in confusion, but held him close.

“He does.” he murmured, “You do. You deserve far better than I, Juno. But I am the luckiest man in the galaxy.”

“You don’t understand.” and there was finality in his voice, “I’m not Juno. I’m Benzaiten.” Peter blinked. Benzaiten? Juno’s dead brother? Peter’s heart clenched unpleasantly at the words. Did Juno suffer from delusions? Or was the nightmare still clinging to his mind?

“What?” he asked gently, “Juno, what do you mean?”

“I’m Benzaiten. Not Juno. Juno died.” he said, sounding almost relieved. Like this was a load off, a burden he’d never shared with anyone, “My brother died and it was my fault. Mom always liked me more, because Juno was stubborn and talked back and yelled at her when she was unreasonable.” Peter felt the strangest sense of dread in his heart at the implications of what his lady was saying.

“You’re... _not_ Juno Steel?” he asked, mind a whirl of emotion as he tried to make sense of it. Juno (?) shook his head, shrinking back slightly.

“Sarah killed Juno. I-I came home and he was _dead_ and she was talking like...like nothing was wrong and she’d done something good for us so I-I-I-“ he paused and took a deep breath, “I wanted to hurt her. I wanted her to hurt like I was hurting, like the world had been torn apart and the air was stagnant and my whole body was one big ache. I wanted to break her oar like she’d broken mine. And we were identical, so... so I said my own name instead of Juno’s. Made her think she’d killed her favorite. Juno deserved life more than I did anyway. So I... I gave it to him the only way I could.”

“Oh, _Juno_ -“ but then he cut himself off, unsure what to call him, “Or, if you’d prefer Be-“

“Don’t!” he said, a little wild, “Don’t call me Ben. Please. I’m Juno. I’ve been Juno since that day, Juno’s the one who lived.”

“I... of course.” he said slowly, carefully. He stared at his detective, trying to see if anything had changed, if the revelation of his identity had switched the man before him with another. But it was still Juno. It was still the man Peter had fallen for, still his beautiful wild man with the sharp blue eye and the quick fingers and burning, all-consuming need to do good. The man who’s trauma in relation to his dead brother ran far deeper than Peter could have ever anticipated.

“I’m sorry for lying.” Juno said, staring at the bedspread rather than him, retreating back into the shield his brother’s name, his brother’s _identity_ , provided, “I’m still Juno Steel. I haven’t changed. Just... don’t tell anyone.” Peter mulled this new revelation over, hesitating only a moment before taking Juno’s hands.

“No matter what name you go by.” he murmured, squeezing his hands, “I love you. You’re my detective, whether I call you Benzaiten or Juno or Dahlia Rose. I love _you_.” Juno stared at him, tears welling up at the corner of his eye. He looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Peter couldn’t stop himself from pulling him into his arms and holding him tight. Juno clung to him, blunt nails digging into Peter’s back.

“Thank you, Peter.” he mumbled into his shoulder, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” he murmured, “Always.”

“Just keep calling me Juno.” he said, “Please.”

“Of course, Juno.” he smiled, “Anything for you.” A comfortable silence fell between them, Peter holding him and Juno allowing himself to be held.

“So,” Peter’s smile turned wicked as he alighted on a way to make Juno flush, anything to get that haunted look out of his eye, “You once told me that Benzaiten was a dancer.”

“Oh no, it was a mistake to tell you that.” he pressed his face further into Peter’s shoulder. Peter chuckled.

“Does that mean you were actually the dancer, dear Juno?”

“Shut up.”

“Explains how you were so much better than I expected on the dance floor during our casino heist.” he grinned, “You did surprise me that night.”

“I was rusty.”

“You were _beautiful_.”

“Nureyev, that was the last time you’ll ever see me dance.” he groaned.

“I accept your challenge.” his smile grew toothy

“Enough.” Juno huffed a laughed, relaxing just a little. Peter counted it as a win.

“Of course, Juno. Of course.”


End file.
